War on What? Christmas?

It's happening all over. At grocery stores. Department stores. Malls. Evidently, there are terrorists running around, hiding bombs under trees, yelling out obscenities, and protesting against the Christmas holiday. Okay, so maybe not that extreme, but when I think war, I think WAR- like the current one in Iraq. I don't think about a holiday, about trees, and about carols. But, some (many) people are talking about it, there is an all out War on Christmas.

It started with people simply being politically correct and saying Happy Holidays. Or perhaps some of those people weren't even intentionally being politically correct, they just realized there were multiple holidays up coming and from the fact they may never see you again (not that you were soon to be dead, but, well, you know what I mean), they thought they'd make their job a bit easier and just say Happy Holidays. This, instead of saying, "Merry Christams, Happy Ramadan, Happy Hanukah, Happy New Year, Happy Valentine's Day, Happy St. Pattie's Day. I'll see you in April right? Okay, so that's all I can think up right now. I hope each and every one of those holidays I just mentioned goes well for you. If you don't celebrate one or more of these, then I apologize and take back the ones I stated that you don't celebrate. Take care. Buh-bye now." That can get a bit tiring saying once, let alone saying it to people for an entire day. Just by saying "Happy Holidays," we're saving a lot of people's lungs and voices, especially around this time of year when it's getting cold in many places! But, no, some people have to take it personally and seriously and say, "You're only saying Happy Holidays because you're Anti-Christmas and Anti-Christian." Oh boy. Not one of these again. I've been celebrating Christmas with my family for going on 24 years now and do I get offended if someone wishes me a happy holiday or holidays even? No. What's the big deal? If it's Halloween and I tell someone Happy Holiday, are they going to claim I'm Anti-Halloween and therefore Anti-Magic, Anti-Ghost, Anti-Witch, and Anti-Spongebob? I would hope not, but I would not rule that out.

If the Happy Holiday thing wasn't enough, now there's talk about calling the tree the "Holiday Tree." In other words, it's the "Fill-in-the-blank" Tree. Who cares? Whatever you and your family celebrate, that's what you're going to call it. Those who celebrate Christmas, will call the tree they got a Christmas Tree. Those who practice Judaism or Islam may call it something else. Some people may get creative and call the tree Fred. Who cares? To each family their own. We don't need to get into an uproar regarding a tree. Would there be this much fuss if we started calling the jackolantern the JackoJilloLantern? There would be some laughter, I'm sure, and some late night jokes by the likes of Leno, Letterman, O'Brien, Stewart, and company. But, I doubt there'd be a huge fuss across the nation saying we were going Anti-Halloween. In fact, those same groups that are fussing about the "Holiday" jargon would probably be the same people praising the JackoJilloLantern.

I know what it is for most, taking "Christ" out of Christmas. Let me ask this question. Where is the word "Christ" in Easter? It's not there. Did we make that politically correct as well? Did it used to be called Christeaster? I never remember it being called that in my lifetime, but I've only been here for 24 years, so if anyone else, older than I am, can remember such a thing occurring in their lifetime, I'd be grateful to hear their story. And, not to drown those with too much information and let the public know the Easter Bunny is not real, but Jesus' birthday was not on December 25th. You can ask any professional scholar, any priest, even the Pope himself and they'll all tell you the same thing. His birthday was not on December 25th. Why is it December 25th then you ask? Ahh, convenience. It works well with our schedules. It's kind of like Good Friday. According to the Bible, Jesus died on a Thursday and rose again in three days (Day 1- Thursday to Friday, Day 2- Friday to Saturday, Day 3- Saturday to Sunday), but again, it's more convenient for us to say it happened on Friday, because after Friday is the weekend. Jesus was actually born in the spring, April I believe. That would mess things up completely, because usually in March or April is Easter and then Christmas would not be too far ahead. Christmas towards the end of December just works better for the working public. Yeah, I know, it's all about the principle of the thing, but I'm just saying, there's nothing to fuss about. We get a week or two off to give and receive presents, get wasted, spend time with family, get even more wasted, pretend that we're Santa Claus and eat the cookie our family left us on the table, watch football, and listen to music.

The political "expert" (gotta put that in quotes, because it's far from the truth) Bill O'Reilly said yesterday that "every" Christian in this world finds the two words "Happy Holidays" offensive. Ironically enough, if you check out the O'Reilly merchandise store on his homepage, they are selling ornaments and other schtuff that says...take a wild guess...That's right, "Happy Holidays." Bill, you know, whether one celebrates Hannukah, Christmas, or whatever, there's always New Year's Day a week away, so that means there is more than one holiday up ahead. Holiday then becomes Holiday-s. Do you want everyone to tell you, "Bill, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year." That's ten syllables Bill. If someone just waves and says, "Happy Holidays Bill," that's six syllables. A person is saving themselves at least four syllables every time they say that and over time, especially when those days near, that could save someone hundreds of syllables a day. What, at any live show, should the host not say, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome?" Should they now say, "Hot 5'7'' ladies, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nice figure, welcome and large 5'3'' balding men are welcome as well." Knowing Bill, he might actually go for that and say that to a crowd, but why not include everybody? Why not let everyone be a part of this time of year? Just because we say Happy Holidays, does not mean we disinclude Christmas, because, hello, that is one of the holidays being celebrated. We're just including others as well. Just because some places call the tree a holiday tree, so what? We will call it what we've always called it. Just because someone elects to be more politically correct to include more people in the festivities, that doesn't mean we need to alter our routines or traditions any. So, please, no more War on Christmas. There is no War on Christmas. Get over it. It's supposed to be a fun and joyous time of the year, a time to get heavy, a time to kill brain cells, and a time to remember. So, to all, I say, Happy Holidays.