I Read Women About As Well As I Read Chinese

No offense to anyone whom speaks Chinese, but I don't know the first thing about how to read or speak the language.

So, given that fact and the comparison I made in the title, one can only imagine how well it is that I read women.

I finally opened up (somewhat) to someone I've had feelings for the past 3 years. Her response was very quick, positive and gave me a very good vibe. When I asked a female friend to interpret certain portions from a woman's perspective, she basically said, "Well, it sounds very good, but women are extremely difficult to read." Ah, even a fellow woman sees that. Very interesting... If some women can't read each other at all, how do they expect men to read them?

Us guys, we're like cavemen. We need the ladies to keep things simple. Just give us the caveman's version of sign language, point to us, smile, put your hand over your heart before extending that hand forward or blow a kiss or make some strange sounds and then come in for a kiss. We'll understand that. Or, if women would be obvious like guys are notorious of, again, we'd understand that. Just by hearing the exact words in a straight-forward manner will get the message across. "I like you" or "I want this dress right here in this catalog for Christmas" or "I really don't want to go to that game," etc. Just let it out, because trust me, most of us males aren't psychic. If a woman laughs and perhaps subtlely flirts, we males may interpret that as someone just being friendly. If a woman subtlely hints at a gift idea by bringing up a sale at JC Penny's the next week, we likely won't get the connection. Like I said, we're a rather simple people. You can make a disgusted face at the thought of going to a sporting event, but until we hear the words, "I don't want to go," we're not going to think you have a problem with it.

So, back to my horrendous woman-reading skills. While I felt pretty good after hearing my long-time crush's response, my friend's interpretation befuddled me. It makes me wonder if my gut feeling here was correct in the slightest bit or if I really am that lost when it comes to reading women. Hmm... Perhaps I should take up learning Chinese. That may be easier.