34 and 18- Beautiful Numbers

Why are they beautiful, one may ask? Because, according to a poll taken on February 27th, those are the approval ratings of the president and vice president. Just a month ago, Bush's approval rating was at 39%, but due to the continuing war in Iraq, the impending one in Iran, and the Arab ports, Bush's approval has dropped to 34%, the lowest of his tenure. Just after 9/11, that rating was at 90% and has dropped steadily 56 percentage points to 34%. Vice president Dick Cheney was never as well liked as Bush, because, well, the guy doesn't seem to be the most amiable specimen alive. He's like a Fenster: Old, bald, and doesn't smile. His approval rating was at a staggering 23% last month and that's dropped to 18%.

I just bought this shirt with three bulletholes on it (not true bulletholes, of course) and it reads "I Went Hunting With Dick Cheney." Ahh, it's a work of art I tell you. It's nice to know that whenever I wear this around, less than two in ten people will stare me down in anger, while more than eight in ten will give me a thumbs up and laugh.

So, how do the president and vice president up their ratings? Perhaps if Cheney took all his guns and went on a one-man hunt of Al-Qaeda, then some people might respect him a bit more and claim that he's a terrific VP. If Richard started doing a stand-up comedy tour to show his lighter side and that he actually has a sense of humor, I think that could help a bit as well. But, in all honesty, do I think either of these things will occur? No, of course not.

Bush just mentioned here in the past day or so that they're going to catch Osama Bin Laden. He's back to his old tricks, isn't he? He just admitted the other day that the Bin Laden video shown the week of the election was the reason he won. When times get tough. When ratings are down. It's time to go after Osama. Right after 9/11, oh, it was all about Osama. That was to just create the illusory link between Al-Qaeda and Iraq, so after Iraq we go! When asked about Osama during that time, Bush basically said, "Ehh, he's not really on my mind right now. We've got more important things to worry about." Ahh, beautiful. So, from those statements, it can be assumed that Bin Laden wasn't too big a worry for George and company from the get-go or that perhaps something happened between those statements, such as, Bin Laden's death. Because, let's face it, if he died, Bush would've been right in a sense; there was no need to worry about a rotting corpse. But, here we are, four plus years after 9/11, and after a very long delay, Bush claims we're going to go back after the supposed-mastermind of 9/11. Yeah, that makes sense Georgie. That'd be like me coaching a basketball team a few years ago and playing against the Chicago Bulls. I'd be going into the game telling my team to stop #23, Michael Jordan. I'd repeat myself over and over again. After the first quarter, Jordan already has 10 points, and my players ask me, "So, coach, we've been trying, but we can't stop him! Have any more ideas? He's just so good!" Then, I tell them, "No, nevermind, don't worry about him. Focus in on center Bill Cartwright instead or maybe Horace Grant. Jordan can only do so much by himself, right?" So, they do their jobs, stop Cartwright and Grant, but after the third quarter, Jordan has 38 points all to himself. That's when I get in my team's face and tell them, "Stop playing around here! What'd I tell you initially? Stop Michael Jordan! He's tearing us apart out there!" Yeah, but by that time, it was too late, as we were down 86-62. Bush is down to 34%. I personally think Bin Laden is dead, so unless Bush has something up his sleeve about a fake Bin Laden doing an audiotape and saying, "I am here to tell you all that I am dying and will be dead very shortly. This is all due to your great president. You should all love him, respect him, and support him. If you do not, I will have Al-Qaeda strike you again! Peace be with you all. Buhbye now."

Or, if they found Bin Laden's body and claimed responsibility for the killing, then that could play into Bush's favor as well. But, as always, there would be the skeptics, as his body would be nothing but a skeleton and some might come forward and state the obvious, "I don't know, but to me, from those pictures, it appears as if he's been dead for a very long time." And that's why we have experts and analysts, to point out the obvious to us laypeople.

You know, it was my birthday just yesterday when I read about these numbers. I read about them early in my day and it got me smiling the rest of the afternoon and evening. It was kind of a lonely feeling there for a while. When Bush was at 90%, I was that one in ten who didn't approve of the guy, but I am now one of 6.6 out of ten who don't approve of him. So, keep it up George! You set the record for all-time highest presidential approval rating. Let's see if you can set a record for all-time lowest approval rating for a president. That'd be special.