Bush Top Ten

Top Ten Ways President Bush Can Improve His Approval Ratings

10. Wear a rainbow-colored tie and see "Brokeback Mountain."
9. Leave and take over as president of Iraq.
8. Enter a national spelling bee competition, and get shown up by middle schoolers.
7. Try out for "American Idol" and watch Simon tear him apart.
6. Go back to the good old days, get wasted, and snort a few lines, before every major speech or press conference.
5. Be a guest on "Survivor" to see just how loony he really is.
4. Choke on another "pretzel."
3. Never speak to the public again.
2. Create an 11th amendment to the constitution- No other Bush may become president again.
1. (drum roll) Go on a hunting trip with a liquored-up Dick Cheney.