Nod and Smile

That's the routine anymore when playing the role of counselor. I used to give advice. I've tried going that route, but the longer I've played this role, the more I realize that most people don't want to receive advice or pointers about what they should do with their life or a certain situation. They just want to blow off some steam and vent about it to the counselor. After they've done that, then they can walk out of the office feeling more at ease with the problem, whatever it was, even though, by not altering anything, they're going to be walking right into that problem again and the cycle will continue.

If I go see a counselor and vent about a drinking problem a friend of mine has, sure, it may feel good to let it all out, but that's not going to help the drinking problem out any unless I or someone else goes and does something about it. It's not just going to cure itself, I'm sorry to say.

But, unfortunately, that's all people want it seems. As long as someone gives them decent eye contact, nods, smiles, does everything to make it felt that the person is actually listening and paying attention, then that's all they want and think that they need.

Why is that? Is it the fact that most people don't want to believe that anything is wrong with them? That anything is their fault? I see this in relationships a lot. Once in a great while, one of the two parties involved may be to blame, but most of the time, as the saying goes, it takes two to tango.

Just like in a serious relationship between two people, the same thing holds true for the relationship between a counselor and the patient. Both parties have to do their part in order for true progress to be shown. If the counselor gives the best possible advice, but the patient is reluctant on following through with any of it, then it's obvious the problem is not going to be fixed anytime soon.

Maybe this is why we're relying so heavily on prescription drugs anymore. The two people are either not on the same wavelength or the patient isn't willing to follow through with anything that has been discussed. So, they go to plan b and prescribe pills. Sometimes I think doctors jump the gun a bit too early when prescribing pills. They see a list of symptoms and go, "Ahh, yes, that means you probably have this or that, so here you are. Take these and you'll be all better." Other times, I think frustration from the patient not doing anything to better his or her situation forces the doctor into a tight corner and they almost feel forced to prescribe something.

But, with the counseling routine, all I can do anymore is nod and smile. You can only try to help a person so much. In the end, they have to be the ones making the decision and at that point, you just hope what you said to them lingers in their mind enough, so that they judge wisely when making that decision.