When is it considered cheating and when is it not?

A friend of mine got into a discussion about this very thing last night. We agreed for the most part what "cheating" was, but she brought up a good point, that many have their different rules of what "cheating" is. That's true. I've heard of some couples who think so long as the other doesn't engage in sex with another person, then they're not cheating. Some have some silly rules about if they're in different zip codes, then it's not cheating. Some go off the deep end and consider lying to be cheating. Or, is that the deep end at all?

As usual, I will go to the helpful dictionary for some answers. How does it define cheating?
1. To deceive.
2. To mislead; fool.
3. To act dishonestly.
4. To be sexually unfaithful.

These are all pretty vague, except for the last definition. Allright, so I think most people can agree that engaging in sexual activities with someone other than their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife is cheating.

But, then again, is there a line one must cross sexually with a third party in order for it to be considered sexually unfaithful? Is it cheating to kiss another person passionately? Well, whether one wants to consider it sexual or not, make-out sessions are definitely sexual and can often times lead to other things. So, yes, that falls under sexually unfaithful. Remember how we used to compare our sexual experiences to the game of baseball when we were younger? Anything that goes on between the bases can be considered sexually unfaithful.

But, what about the other three definitions? To deceive, to mislead/to fool, and to act dishonestly. If one isn't necessarily being sexually unfaithful to their spouse, but has lied to them about someone or something in their life that will break the trust when it is found out later, can that be considered cheating? What about certain types of flirting and other physical activities? Butt grabs, bumping'n'grinding on the dance floor, making sexual gestures to another person. Does that count as cheating? Does the potential for cheating count as cheating? If a girlfriend gives a guy her phone number, with the intent to cheat, but it never works out, is that being unfaithful since she had the intention of being such? What about thinking of someone else when you're sexually involved with the person you're dating or married to? Is that cheating?

I think it depends on the two people involved. In all these circumstances, the barrier of trust can be broken when the second party finds out about it. But, most people don't think about any of these circumstances and consider it to be cheating. Cheating is seen by most as only something physical. Lying is a completely different arena. The potential for cheating doesn't count, because the act didn't actually happen. But, in all these predicaments, when the second party finds out, he or she may lose a great deal of trust in their partner, their relationship, and it could very well be the beginning of the end for the two.

What does being sexually unfaithful entail? Covering it up with lies, until their committed partner gets suspicious and finds out or if the cheating party gets caught red handed. The longer that it's been going on, the more it's going to hurt and the more difficult it's going to be to forgive and get over. Same thing goes with simple lying. When the other person finds out about the lies, it could be the beginning of the end for the two. The longer the lies have been told, the more damaging it's going to be to the relationship.

What do all these acts have in common? They're acts of dishonesty. Whether one lies verbally or cheats physically, they're acts of dishonesty that will most likely tear apart the relationship if and when they're discovered.

So, what is cheating? Cheating is the act of cheating another person of one's honesty and faithfulness. If one looks their partner in the eye and tells him that there are no other guys she's interested in and the next day, she flirts in a sexual manner with a male, gives him her number, and tells him to call her at such and such time, because her boyfriend won't be home, that right there is cheating the boyfriend of her honesty and faithfulness. If one has thoughts about doing things with another party, then they shouldn't be dating or married in the first place. Go out, do your thing, have fun, but don't hurt an individual by acting dishonestly (AKA cheating).