I usually don't do this, but...

I usually don't like writing about my personal life, but there's something on my mind and I have to get it out somehow. So, why not through a blog?

I'll probably be so vague that not even my friends get what I'm talking about, but hey, as long as I feel that weight lifted from letting things out, then I'm okay with that.

Allright, approximately three years ago (I can't believe it's been that long), I met a gal at a friend of mine's get-together. It was in May of '03. How do I remember this stuff? Oh, I remember things, little details, that most don't. I remember this, in particular, because of what then ensued and because I had just gotten out of a week and a half long hospital stay, in preparation for my August 6th brain surgery. So, that whole summer, I silently promised myself not to get involved in a relationship, just because I didn't want to drag anyone along for the potential drama and rollercoaster ride. While I was not too nervous about the surgery, there are always risks, especially for a major surgery like that one. So, for the most part, I just tried being with close friends and family that summer.

But, on that day in May, I almost changed my mind. I was this close (spreads my right thumb and index finger one centimeter from one another) to changing my mind about the silent promise I had made to myself. There was this "Pretty Woman" marathon on TBS that day. Again, don't ask me how I remember these things. I just do. The brain surgery definitely didn't hinder that any. My amygdala is still in tact, thank God. But, anyway, so we all sat down, chit chatted, and watched some "Pretty Woman."

I noticed this girl right away, but didn't say much at the beginning. I just kind of talked to and joked around with some friends of mine, which generated some laughter. A bunch of people then went up to get some cake.

I was getting nice and settled in and really didn't feel like getting up at that exact moment, so when a friend of mine said, "Hey, aren't you going to come up and get some cake?"

I just smiled and said, "Ahh, not this second. I'm getting too comfy here. I'll get some in a little bit."

Well, that gal that I mentioned noticing right from the get go must've overheard me, as she came down with two pieces of cake, one for me and one for her. I thought that was pretty sweet and a lovely first impression, if I do say so myself.

I said something like, "Aww, thanks. That was very nice of you," as I smiled.

She responded with a smart aleck remark of, "Well, I figured you'd be too lazy to ever get it yourself, so I figured I'd have to go get you a piece."

Ahh, how I love and appreciate sarcasm. That right there was the ice breaker. Most my other friends left to go to their respective homes. This lady and I just sat on the couches and talked for who knows how many hours. There weren't any awkward silences. There was plenty of laughter. I don't know what it was, but it just felt like our personalities meshed nicely and we clicked.

Some friends of mine came downstairs in the early to mid evening, ready to go out to the bars and asked me if I wanted to go. I really just wanted to stay and talk to that gal longer, but I was kind of stuck right then and there and I also didn't want to drag anyone along for the upcoming drama in my life, so I just said it was nice to meet her and not being in the mood for the bar, I headed home.

I'm not a big believer in fate or soul mates, but on that day in May, I tried to the best of my ability to believe in such a thing. I tried telling myself, "Well, if you bump into her again, then perhaps you were meant to get to know one another better and if not, then it just wasn't meant to be." Sounds very silly and corny, I know. I completely agree. But, at that point, regardless of how silly and corny it sounded, I wanted to believe it.

Well, I bumped into her again, two years after the first encounter and about a year ago, in May of '05. I know, it's scary how I don't forget things, isn't it? I can't say that I know for a fact she remembered our first encounter, but I certainly did. When the majority of the people who were at the get-together left, it was just two friends of mine, she, and myself. My two friends talked about work and school. That left she and I to talk about things and again, we just seemed to click. I brought up things I had remembered her saying two years prior. We talked. We laughed. The closer the time came when I knew I'd have to leave, the more I didn't want to leave. At that point in my life, I had no excuse for why I didn't get her number. It was rather late when I left and I could say that I was too tired to think of doing such a thing, but deep down, I know that isn't the case. Or, maybe it was the case, but right when I said my goodbyes and left, something didn't feel right. I drove home and knew I should've asked.

Even the next day, I contacted my friend and asked if there was any way she could ask this gal if it was allright that I call sometime. But, from what I heard, they played musical phones for a while and I didn't hear until seven months later what was said when they finally got in touch with one another. I guess the gal had a boyfriend, but one no one was truly fond of, so my friend mentioned that if she was ever interested in dating a good guy, then she knew the guy. She claimed that the gal smiled, because she knew who my friend was talking about. That's what I heard in December.

I had the chance to bump into her in January, when my family and I went to her workplace. I saw her a couple of times, but she looked busy and I hate to bother people at work. It's just a thing I have. But, again, another excuse on my part. So, I again told myself that maybe she and I would bump into one another again.

We did. Just a few days ago. Where it goes from here, I haven't the slightest idea. It's very strange. I haven't dated nor felt the urge to date for quite some time, but whenever I bump into her, dating doesn't sound like a bad idea anymore. I don't know what it is, but I just felt a click that I haven't felt right away with a person before and I just keep wondering if I'll ever get that chance I wanted almost three years ago and hoping that all those missed opportunities on my part don't end up biting me in the backside.