Family Favoritism

Some may never admit it, but the majority of people hold favorites, whether they be teachers, parents, kids, friends, or siblings. Most people can usually distinguish who is the favorite just by making observations. Sometimes it's understandable. It'd be difficult for a teacher to not favor a student who always comes to class on time, is prepared, expands their teaching some, is friendly, and volunteers to help the teacher in class over someone who is frequently tardy, doesn't do their homework, and disrupts class regularly. But, there are times I don't understand favoritism at all.

A cousin of mine is one such case. She got brought up in a discussion my folks, brother, and I had in San Diego. She's soon to be a junior in high school, wants to be a plastic surgeon when she gets older, and has the brains to do it. But the only question that ever gets asked about her is, "Is she still fat?" That's it. Her two older sisters are as skinny as they come. One wants to be an elementary school teacher and the other isn't quite sure yet. Their mother is rather thin. This gal probably has the most potential out of all of them, and yet the only question that gets asked is, "Is she fat?" I always stand up for her and say, "Why do you always ask that? She's not fat." They'll then rebut with, "Well, she's not skinny either and she's always trying to hide it with the clothes she wears."

Just because a person is not considered "skinny" does not mean they are fat. There are not two possibilities when it comes to physique: skinny and fat. Some are bigger, but extremely well-proportioned. Others are extremely athletic and toned. Some are just plain average. Some are extremely curvy. As much as one might want to believe that one's physique has the complexity of a true-false question, I'm sorry to say that it doesn't. This gal is extremely large for her age and when I say "large," I don't mean fat. What I mean is she's very tall and grown for her age. The reason she struggles so much and tries to "hide" what she has is the fact she's constantly ridiculed for her appearance by members of the family. Next to her two sisters, she may look rather big, but her two sisters might closely resemble Twiggy when it comes to their size and thinness, so that's not saying a whole lot. Marilyn Monroe would look big compared to them and she was not in any sense of the word, "fat." My cousin has to constantly battle her insecurities because family members won't appreciate her for who she is and what she can do. It drives me crazy. Anytime I see the rest of the family, I try to make certain that I uplift my cousin's spirits some, because I know what all is said about her behind her back and to her face by family and I think it's sick. She's always very cheery and grateful when I or others say or do such things, but the mere-exposure effect is very powerful. Once a person hears something over and over and over again, they become more and more prone to believing that which is being said. I only hope my cousin can learn to shrug her shoulders at these crude negative statements and believe in herself and her potential. If she follows through with what she's set out to do, she'll definitely have the last laugh.