The Ex-Is-With-Douche Complex

So, has an ex of yours started dating again? Have you met him or her? Do you know much about them outside of what you've heard from your friends? What do you conclude about the guy or gal? According to a non-scientific study conducted inside my noggin, there's a 71.2% chance that you concluded, "They're a douche."

Now, it's perfectly understandable to not be an immediate fan of a person whom is dating your ex, especially if you and this ex of yours dated for an extended period of time and got pretty serious. It's also quite understandable if your ex started dating again very soon after the break-up and he/she hasn't given you much time to get over the demise of the relationship. However, if you and this ex of yours have been far removed from the relationship you once shared with one another, then what's the problem?

I have exes just like the next person and while it'd hurt quite a bit if I found out one of them started dating and getting serious with another guy directly following the break-up, after a certain duration of time, I could really care less about whom they go out with, bring home to mommy and daddy or for whom they spread their legs. We're no longer dating, so that's their decision.

But, I've noticed quite frequently that the philosophy I shared above doesn't hold true for many people. Someone very close to me dated a gal for about four and a half years, off and on. They got pretty close and contemplated marriage at one point. They broke up around four to four and a half years ago. This buddy of mine has since gotten married, having been either dating or married to this women for about two and a half years. His ex just announced that she's getting married in the next year or so. What does this friend of mine have to say about the guy she's marrying? "Yeah, he's a douche."

He'd continue, "He's loaded in money. That's probably why she likes him, but he's a douche. Even all his friends think he's a douche." I believe this friend of mine has met this other guy very briefly on one occasion and has heard such commentary about this fellow's douchiness from friends of his own, whom I'm sure aren't slanting their stories any to appease my friend. So, based on very little research and knowledge, he has adamantly concluded that the man his ex is marrying is a douche.

This sign of bitterness, jealousy and hostility makes me want to ask one question, "Are you sure you're over her yet?" Because, why would he or someone else in his position care whom his ex marries? He's married now, has been with someone for two and a half years, comments on how she's everything his ex wasn't (that makes me wonder as well...), etc. So, why's it really matter? Who cares that she's getting married? Doesn't he want to see her happy. Break-ups almost never end well, but I don't wish any ill upon my exes. Obviously things didn't work out between they and myself, but hey, that happens. I hope they find someone they can be happy with for the long-term.

All this makes me wonder just how ubiquitous this is and if it can be applied to almost everyone on at least one occasion. I wonder if an ex of mine hears that I'm dating or engaged to someone, if they find out from an unreliable source, "Yeah, I heard she's a douche."

So, yeah, if that rings true, I guess I can only conclude one thing: Each and every one of us is a douche to at least one person. I don't know about you, but that makes me feel warm and toasty inside. This is a fellow douche signing out.