Cop Outs

We've all heard them, probably all used them- cop outs. These are especially prevalent when it comes to relationships, or I should say, the disinterest in a relationship. Now, some of these excuses may be genuine and honest once in a great while, but notice what I just said- once in a great while. So, for the most part, they're used as ways to either get out of a relationship or to prevent oneself from entering a relationship. Following will be some famous cop outs and what their interpretation can read as.

Let's just be friends. I don't want to ruin what we have.- This is used when one brings up the idea of beginning a relationship and taking the friendship they have established to another level. What this person is really saying is, "You can either have me as a friend or have me as nothing, because there's no way I'm going to be your boyfriend/girlfriend." So, instead, they take the nicer, less aggressive route. The only problem with this is the fact it may not get the point across quite so clearly.

You're too good for me. I don't deserve you.- This could come in the middle of a relationship or when one brings up the idea of starting one. It could come as a result of a new specimen that they've found an interest in, could be from a serious self-esteem problem, or it could be them trying to be extra nice out of subconscious guilt. Because, what they're really saying is, "Yeah, you may be too good for me, in some ways. Heck, I'm cheating on you, so unless you're doing likewise, you have me beat on the loyalty and honesty thing. But, guess what? An ex of mine is in town. We went out the other night, sparks flew, and I'll leave the vivid details to your imagination. So, good luck and goodbye."

I'm just not ready.- This would usually be said pre-relationship, when the potential couple would try to talk things over and come to the best conclusion. In some scenarios, I could understand this line. I mean, if someone just got through a 2-year relationship with a person and the next person in line asked them out right away, I could understand them using this line. But, that's usually not the case. Many times, it's just used as an excuse to say, "You know, I am ready. I'm just not ready to be with you. I wasn't ready then, am not ready now, and will never be ready to be with you." Harsh, I know, but the truth hurts sometimes, which is why many elect to use these cop outs, as opposed to coming at full speed with the brutal and honest truth.

It's not you. It's me.- You have to love this one. This could come at any time in a relationship. There are so many different ways to interpret this one, as well. What first comes to mind, though, is, "It's you and it's me. It's you, because you can't satisfy me and it's me, because I can't stop sleeping around with people who can do just that." Whenever I hear this, I envision the film "EuroTrip" when Scott's girlfriend goes up to him after graduation and says they have to break up, going to this very line, "It's not you. It's me." This is followed by her hopping up on stage with the Matt Damon-lead band, singing her national anthem of "Scotty Doesn't Know."

I just need some time to myself. I need some space- This usually comes just before the separation period and after he or she gets this time and space, the other will come back wanting to talk. But, what really goes on when this person has all that time and space for themselves finally? Anything and everything. What they're really saying is, "You know, I'm getting kind of sick of you. We hang out all the time and talk all the time. I need to go out and be with other people. After I do that for a little while, then I'll decide if I still want to be with you."

We're just not meant to be.- I love this one. Someone decides to play the role of God in the relationship by stating this. My question for them is, if that's the case, then what is meant to be? Who are you meant to be with? Who am I meant to be with? If it's all meant to be or not meant to be, why did we date at all in the first place? That's because it isn't that simple. What they really mean here is, "We had a nice ride, but, guess what? I found someone better. See ya."

Once in a while, these excuses are genuine and honest, but again, that doesn't happen all too frequently. Where there's a cop out, there's usually something hidden. So, when someone uses one of these lines on you, try to find a way to accurately interpret the truth from the BS. It's easier said than done, but if you truly try to read them- their facial expressions, hand gestures, eye contact (or lack there of), you'll be able to read them like a book. As Edward R. Murrow would state, "Good Night and Good Luck."