Give and Take

Are things mandatory? Voluntary? When two friends, lovers, or spouses do something for the other, does the other party feel it obligatory to return the favor? Are they reluctant to think about it until a favor possibility is brought to their attention? When that does happen, do they simply think about what was done for them and return the favor because of that? Or, does that factor not even enter the equation and they do what is asked non-hesitatingly?

Whether or not we mean to, it seems like many of us keep track of these things. Rarely does it seem voluntary for one to do a favor for another. When it does happen voluntarily, people are then easily taken advantage of or used. I see that happen many times, as well. Heck, I've experienced that first hand.

So, how do we know? How do we know that by doing a favor for another out of the kindness of our hearts, they'll truly be grateful and will not use us for constant favors, for the simple fact that we're kind people? How do we know that another is doing a favor for us because they want to and not because their conscience makes them feel guilty if they don't follow through with it? Is there an internal scoreboard that tells us who's ahead in the favor game? Are these scoreboards laid out differently for some? Do some have scoreboards, where the goal is to have as equal of scores as possible? Do others have scoreboards, where the goal is to receive as many favors as possible while returning minimal amounts of favors?

Rarely do I see anymore a case where two people give and take in equal proportions, without even knowing it. They do so out of sheer kindness and love, without any strings attached. While I have not seen nor experienced this for myself, I'm hopeful and optimistic (slightly) that it can happen. It may not be likely, but it is possible, I think (hope). For those out there who have experienced it, congratulations. You should feel very grateful for that.