I finally saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl last night...

It took me four years to finally get around to seeing it, but I finally sat down last night and watched Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, the first of the trilogy.

People kept telling me, "You have to see it!" Yet, my conscience kept telling me otherwise, and as usual, I should've listened to my gut.

At this point, the hype from the first movie (and best reviewed of the three, scarily enough) had subsided. I haven't heard much talk from outsiders insisting that I see the first one, as the third is out and about in theaters. Due to all this, my expectations were fairly level. I was not caught up in the hype after it was first released and unless there's something I don't know, I was not involved in an anti-POTC coalition that has just hit the streets.

What did I expect? For the film to be fast-paced (a hour and a half to two hours in length), for Johnny Depp to shine in his role (as he usually does), for there to be some tension and build-up, for there to be a few chuckles here and there, and for me to want more POTC following this film. I rented both the first and the second of the trilogy, so for that reason alone, I REALLY wanted that to be true.

What did I get? The only reason I found POTC: The Curse of the Black Pearl to be any bit entertaining was for Johnny Depp's portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow, of which the Rolling Stones' Keith Richards was Depp's inspiration. Depp's performance alone made the film watchable. The costuming and music were solid, as well. But, when it comes to the plot, the storyline, the jokes, the dialogue, and the acting around Depp? It was mediocre, at best.

The plot was so simple, that George W. Bush could follow along. Okay, let's see here. Let's have some pirates and commodores hop from one ship to the next, sail away, hop back over to the other ship when it's caught back up, and continue to do this until either everyone is dead or the curse has been lifted. Let's do this for almost 2 1/2 hours. If I wanted to watch some people chase each other back and forth across some playing field for 2 1/2 hours, I'd watch a football or a basketball game, not a movie. The film is more monotonous than the new Nine Inch Nails album and for any non-biased listener out there will know, that's saying something!

Not much was expected in terms of acting for Keira Knightley. Her job was to look beautiful for the camera, and she did a very good job of that. Orlando Bloom was convincing in some parts and unconvincing in others. There were times when I forgot that this was Orlando Bloom playing the character and at others, I had to roll my eyes and say, "Oh, Orlando..." He was pretty solid in the fighting scenes, I thought, but all changed when he had to open his mouth, and say something stupid ("do" as Depp would say in the film).

I'm not an avid Pirate-film watcher, but two films that feature pirates that I'll always love are, "The Princess Bride" and "The Goonies". Neither of these films featured the talent that is Johnny Depp, but had much more depth to their storylines, plots, and actually made me care for the characters and what could/would happen to them. The music and costumes were solid in both those films, as well. The special effects was far superior in POTC, but special effects aren't going to arouse me much if there isn't any substance behind it.

The creators of POTC should be thanking their lucky stars that they were able to nab Johnny Depp, because without him, this film would not have made nearly the kind of money it did and may have only been worthy for a single picture. In either case, I sure hope that Depp is as good in the second picture as he is in the first, because I'm going to be viewing that tonight (and it's even longer than the first!).

Grade: 5/10 - An average film, saved by the acting of one Johnny Depp from being dreadful. Even with his superb acting, the film's monotony lasts far too long at almost 2 1/2 hours. Great special effects, lots of fight scenes, solid sound and costumes also factor into me not scoring the film any lower. While it's not awful, I don't understand the hype, and can't see myself viewing it a second time unless I receive a grand reward for my doing so.