Cutting Off Communication

So, I was led on to believe a woman had feelings for me. This was confirmed by a couple of inside sources. Her words, tone and body language seemed to support this as well. In the end, though, she evidently didn't feel anything for me. So, due to her toying with my heart and severely hurting me in the process, I thought it was time to just let go.

I just read some testimonies and studies regarding the effects of the "silent treatment". Some claimed it as a form of emotional abuse, that it's childish, that people whom fear confrontation and serious discussion are more apt to resorting to this tactic than the average individual, that it solves nothing, inflicts pain upon the other, etc. I think these comments may be true in a majority of cases, but not in every case.

This woman began giving me the silent treatment in a way. She stopped responding to my e-mails, returning my calls or answering my calls, ignored me when I visited this past week, said she tried keeping her distance, couldn't be herself around me and wouldn't until I accept the fact she doesn't share the same feelings toward me as I do toward her. So, when I cut off communication, did it really change matters all that much? No, not really. I just put the official stamp on things.

I don't plan on getting in touch with this woman again. If one wants to talk about an emotional rollercoaster, she put me on one. She was extremely wishy-washy, going back-and-forth on her thoughts, feelings and interest level on a regular basis. Every one of my friends whom knew about the situation confidently stated that she was obviously "into me," with even a couple laying claim that she told them this. A couple of females whom I didn't know, were told bits of the story and they said they'd be shocked if this woman didn't want to pursue something with me and that they'd never heard of a woman acting in such a manner whom wasn't interested in that person. It's not like I was the only one misreading her.

It's funny that I consistently read in these studies and testimonies that the individual whom resorts to silent treatment is typically fearful of confrontation and of serious discussion, but one reason I resorted to this drastic measure was because this woman was fearful of confrontation and serious discussion. On several occasions, I attempted to open up to her and engage in a serious conversation, but she consistently ignored these attempts, leaving me with no definite answer. She'd provide me with vaguery, no clear direction and seemingly ignore the discussions altogether.

She basically threw me out of her life without placing the official stamp on the envelope to be mailed. That's all I was doing. I wish I didn't have to resort to this tactic, but she's tampered with my emotions, pained me enough as it is and I honestly don't want to associate myself with her again. If she were a loyal friend, I'd have no problem in taking a step back, swallowing my pride and accepting the friendship as is. However, she's not like that. She's a good friend one minute and a ghost the next. I don't care to affiliate myself with such flakiness. Unfortunately, she's simply not the person I thought she was and I'm extremely disappointed in myself for misreading her like I did and that I allowed a person to string me along and use me as she did. I now know it's for the very best that she and I never wound up dating, but it's still fresh and painful right now. I'll eventually get over it, but it'll be a rather lengthy healing process. I still think that deep down, there's a beautiful person in there, but I sincerely hope she alters a few things about herself as to not lead men on and cross the line between flirting and indicating she likes someone and tampering with a man's heart and feelings in the process. I also hope I can alter a few things about myself, to be stronger, more assertive and more cognizant of a woman's true intent before developing feelings for them and allowing myself to get strung along and used in the process.