Political Commercials

Seen these? A bunch were on display not long ago, as our primaries were held last Tuesday. Living in Nebraska, I don't think I witnessed one commercial with a Democratic candidate. They were all Republicans. This made it even more humorous for me to watch. Why? They all said the same dang thing! The only difference were the photos of Nebraska that were displayed, the voice in the background, and then the actual picture of the candidate. Those were the only differences.

"He's a Conservative Nebraska Republican. Border security, traditional marriage, pro-life, and family values are all very important to this candidate. Vote for yadda-yadda-yadda and vote for a Conservative Nebraska Republican whom you can trust."

Yeah, they all sounded like that. There's always so much sugar-coating and BS in these political ads. I'd love to see some that are actually honest. For Republicans, it could read:

"Vote for Joe Smith. Nebraska is the 4th most conservative state in the nation and Joe Smith will take it to the top. He will cut taxes for the rich. As the saying goes, 'those who have money find ways to make more money' and Smith agrees with that statement 110%. Everyone will be forced to wear uniforms when Smith is elected to office. Here's what they'll look like (Smith strikes a pose in the uniform). He will make it mandatory that every Nebraskan serves at least two years in the military. Abortion will be completely banned, even in cases of rape, incest, or where the mother's health is in jeopardy. The Nebraska morning news will be hosted by Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity if you vote Smith on election day. Two guns per household will be the minimum. More guns and less crime! It's a fact, so says the national rifle association. Smith doesn't care about you or your family. He just wants money, power, control, and to feel like God. Don't you want to elect someone into office who has those delusions of grandeur and who provides the type of honest that has been displayed in this ad? Make Smith God of Nebraska and get a high by drinking shots in his pews. Joe Smith = Nebraska."

Or, for Democrats, it could read:

"Vote Frankie Chilomski. Want someone to listen to what the people have to say, to take their thoughts and suggestions into consideration, and to have difficult making decisions on his own? Then, Chilomski's your guy! Chilomski values the people's right to choose. He's pro-choice, pro-protest, anti-NSA, pro-speech, pro-religion, and even pro-orientation. Ladies, minorities, gays, and anyone else who feel like you're being cheated by our current system, vote for Chilomski. He's on your side! Chilomski guarantees that after he's elected, he will take a weekly vote by those registered on bills he's thinking of passing. He works for the people and this is concrete evidence of that. Vote Chilomski. He cares for the Nebraska corn."

Ahh, those will be the days, right? It's still funny to sit and ponder about.