Top Ten List: Top Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on Easter Sunday to a Die-Hard Christian

Top Ten Things You Shouldn't Say on Easter Sunday to a Die-Hard Christian

10) Sheeeee*t! Muthaf***a!

9) You know, Jesus was a socialist. Just sayin'...

8) Was Jesus gay? I'm just asking.

7) I'll drink to that! Where's the booze and ho's? Cheers!

6) Nobody f***s with the Jesus! (courtesy of John Turturro's character in "The Big Lebowski")

5) I saw Jesus once. I was tripping on acid, listening to Pink Floyd while inside a Planetarium.

4) I wonder what Jesus' take is on the controversial question, "Do handjobs constitute as sex?"

3) I wonder if Jesus and Mary Magdalene will be gettin' jiggy wit it on Sunday. It's something to ponder.

2) I pray for lots of pu**y on Easter Sunday. Amen.

1) (drumroll) Lots of men rise from the dead. It's called Viagra.

...and yes, I know I will be going to hell.