Why I'm Not A Bar Lover

I went out a few bars last weekend with some friends and right when I entered the bar(s), I remembered why I don't go to those things very often.

First off, it doesn't matter how long it took for someone to look and smell pretty, two minutes in a bar, and one will wreak of smoke.

Secondly, the drinks are about as cheap as a Bangkok hooker (not that I'd know, or anything). Some friends of mine got a beer and not a bottle, but a little stinking can. How much? $3.50 each. I got a Long Island Iced Tea. How much? $7.50. I babysat that $7.50 for as long as I could.

Also, while I love music, you almost have to shout over the dang music in order to converse with friends. Once you walk out of the place, it feels like you had just attended a 2-hour rock concert.

Lastly, bars are like real life personal ads. The ladies are all dressed up and looking nice, wanting to attract a drunk male. The males are on the look-out for those ladies attempting to attract them. A group of guys or gals may head on over to a group they want to chat with and there they go, starting in on who they are and what they're looking for. "Headline- Eyes of the Tiger. I'm 30, 6'2'', 172 lbs., Caucasian, country boy, looking for a gal who likes to wear sparkly dresses at bars and whose breath smells like a Cosmopolitan (not the magazine)."

Ahh, yes, let me spend money faster than I would by playing poker blindfolded, smell like a smoke factory in the process, scream to be heard, and be a part of a big personal ad campaign. Sign me up!